A Warrior's Mourning
by Astarii Amaranth
Summary: A story set in the Marai timeline, and how Goku's death affected the Saiyajin Prince Vegeta. How does this proud warrior take death inwardly, even though he is indifferent outwardly? rewrittenrevised version


Disclaimer: I know I've plotted the scheme several times, always hoping, however I still don't own DragonBall. shakes head

I wrote this in August of last year and posted it here on ff.net. It kind of sat there as most one-shots do, but I would look back at it every now and then, each time noting something different I could change to make it better, etc. So a couple days ago I went through the "re-writing" process so I could post a version I was more pleased with, as with the other version I was always uncomfortable with it, always telling myself it was high time to re-write it. Thank you to all my previous reviewers of the other version for their suggestions and comments, I'm glad they enjoyed the story and I hope that new readers will enjoy the new version as well.

~*Astarii 

Goku winced as pain shot through his chest yet another time. His wife, Chi-Chi, turned from the window to look at him, concerned but very used to this by now. Goku gave her a weak smile of reassurance, but winced through it. Chi-Chi's hopeful face turned sad, and she wrapped her arms around herself and sat down next to the bed, scooting the stool closer.

"Goku?" She said, touching his arm lightly with a finger. He reached out his hand and touched her cheek, and she grabbed it and held it against her face tightly.

"Oh, Chi." Tears streamed down her face, and she took a breath, blinking back the tears. He brushed his fingers through her hair silken black hair, usually up, but today she hadn't taken the time to fix it. "Oh, Chi. It's going to be ok." She let go his hand and wiped at her tears.

A knock came to the door, and she wiped away the last of her tears, rubbing her fingers together at the moisture. The knock came lightly again, and she turned to Goku.

"Krillin's here to see you." She explained before walking over to the door and opening it to reveal Goku's short friend. Krillin smiled good-naturedly at Chi-Chi, and then his eyes fell on Goku, Chi-Chi forgotten. She slipped out silently, and Goku greeted his friend with the best smile he could manage.

"Yes?" Krillin asked. He looked at Goku, knowing that answer to his question, what the reason behind his insistence for his visit was.

"I don't think…" Goku trailed off, gazing out the window, a sad sort of look on his face. Something Krillin rarely saw on Goku. "I don't think I'm gonna pull out of this, Krillin. I wanted you to come and see me…see me before…" He trailed off again but Krillin knew what he meant.

The little man sat down on the stool that Chi-Chi had moments ago occupied, and talked to Goku, maybe for the last time, crying like he never had before.

***

Bulma, Vegeta, and Trunks pulled into the Son's drive, the gravel crackling familiarly under their wheels. Bulma pulled the keys out of the car with melancholy, wanting to rush into the house, yet not ready for what awaited her. She gave a sigh and Vegeta, in a rare moment of understanding, said for her to go ahead in, that he'd get Trunks out of his carseat and be in in a moment. 

The front door squeaked as she entered, and the house looked gloomy upon her entrance. Lights that usually should have been turned on were neglected, and she heard very faint speech in the living room where, with such a crowd, there should have been loud conversations. She found Chi-Chi in the kitchen, and the two greeted each other with a warm embrace.

"Most everyone is in the living room." Chi-Chi explained calmly as she pulled back. "Krillin is in with Goku right now." She noted as well. Bulma licked her lips, contemplating what didn't need to be contemplated.

"Should I go into the living—"

"Please don't." Chi-Chi begged. "I need someone right now." Bulma then saw the streaks of previously cried tears, and the ones that pushed to fall at her eyes. Chi-Chi blinked them away and poured some water into a teakettle. Bulma nodded, understanding, and folded her arms, leaning her hips against the counter.

The swinging door opened, and Krillin came in. His eyes were red, swollen, and he folded his arms before speaking.

"He wanted to see Bulma if she was here." He said by way of suggestion. Bulma nodded before giving Krillin an awkward, somewhat kneeling hug which he returned tightly. Chi-Chi nodded towards the door, and without a word Bulma left the kitchen and headed to Goku's room.

She tapped on the door, and let herself in. Goku was lying in his bed, staring out the window as if he was contemplating his life, which he probably was. She sat down next to his bed, but he didn't move his eyes from the window. She touched his arm by way of greeting and he blinked, turning towards her.

She tried to stifle a sob, but her attempt was nearly in vain. She leaned into him as another sob made her tremble, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as tears streamed unchecked.

"Goku, I—" He hugged her tighter and shushed her.

"I know, Bulma, I know." She cried harder as he smoothed her hair, refusing to let go of him…she couldn't let go of him.

***

Vegeta leaned against the deck's wall, arms folded, watching Trunks run around in the backyard with Goten.

Goku was dying? No, Vegeta didn't believe it. Or, more to the truth, didn't want to believe it. Goku _was_ sick, had been for several weeks, but death? Vegeta, like he did everything he didn't want to face, shoved the thought from his mind. The glass door slid open, and Gohan stepped out onto the deck.

"Hey, Vegeta." He said warmly, attempting to appear normal, but Vegeta could tell his emotions were hacked to their limit with everything going on. "Have you talked to him yet?" He questioned, a funny expression crossing his face. Vegeta shook his head without taking his eyes off the two young boys in the yard. "He really wants to see you." Gohan said, almost a suggestion.

"Does he?" Vegeta said. Not really asking.

"A lot." Gohan answered. "He's asked for you many times."

"Did he now?" Vegeta asked, an eyebrow raised. Gohan laughed, but it wasn't his real laugh.

"He said he wouldn't go until he talked to you." Gohan smiled at the mention of it, seeming to cherish something a healthy Goku would say, and Vegeta returned a signature smirk. 

"Sounds like Kakkarot." Vegeta said, almost to himself. Vegeta turned his attention back to the two boys in time to catch the young pale-haired Saiyajin fall from the tree they had been climbing. He shook his head, a smirk just barely touching his face, and excused himself from Gohan

Vegeta walked into the scene as Trunks jerkily shook his head a few times, as if clearing it, before standing up. He looked at Vegeta, a deer-in-the-headlights expression flashing across his features before bowed his head like he was apologizing for his mistake.

"You alright, little man?" Vegeta asked, a friendly smirk on his face, his arms folded Vegeta style. Trunks looked up at his father and nodded silently as Goten trotted up to them. "Maybe you should go inside, eh? It's almost dinner time." Trunks bit his lip and nodded before scurrying away, Goten—his partner in crime—at his heels.

Vegeta leaned against the tree, taking a deep breath, his body hidden from view.

'Kakkarot can't be dying.' He thought. 'For once, I don't have the power to stop—to even try to stop—something from happening.'

***

Bulma shut the door quietly behind her, and ran a shaky hand over her forehead. She went into the kitchen, her thoughts threateningly elsewhere, and Trunks practically knocked her over, greeting her by hugging her legs. She kneeled down with a smile and a chuckle and gave him a hug, unusually tight and loving.

Chi-Chi was standing over the stove, scanning through a rack of pots for the right one, and she smiled when Bulma caught her eye. Chi-Chi's ability to be bright and cheerful at this moment in her life was amazing, something Bulma admired—there was a part of her that wished she could comfort Chi-Chi, though, but the woman left her no entry by tears or melancholy moods

"Dinner will be in a few minutes." Chi-Chi announced as Goten toppled into the room in search of his friend. "Well," She continued, looking around. "More like half an hour." She smiled and Bulma returned it as Chi-Chi leaned down to Goten. "How about you take Trunks upstairs to watch some cartoons, all right?" Goten grinned and Trunks showed his excitement as well. "Go get Gohan to turn it on for you." She advised and the two youngsters disappeared.

"Bulma," It wasn't a question, but the curiosity in Chi-Chi's tone made it feel like one. Bulma look up at her, folding her arms gently. "Why don't you get out of here for a bit. Go and relax. Gohan's room is open if you want to take a nap." Bulma nodded but turned down the offer.

"No, Chi-Chi. Thank you though." Chi-Chi smiled as Bulma continued. "Maybe I'll just go for a walk." She said, almost like a question to herself. "I think I need some time to myself…to…to clear my head." Chi-Chi nodded knowingly and picked up another pot, setting it on the stove as Bulma left the kitchen.

She stared longingly outside as she made her way to the deck, thankful that no one talked to her, or invited her to sit down. Everyone was already preoccupied enough with the casual conversation in the room, let alone their own thoughts. She slid open the door and stepped out into the breeze, taking a deep breath of the stormy air. It was overcast, and ready to rain, but Bulma ignored it as she stepped down onto the grass in her bare feet and walked methodically across the back yard. 

The wind gave a sudden gush of its power, whipping her loose low ponytail around her face, releasing several strands from the elastic's hold, and rain started to sprinkle down, the light that should be present at that time of day near obsolete. She looked behind her. Goku's home looked dank and dismal, lights present only in one room, the one where Goku lie, fighting for his life. She turned back around, looking over the large backyard of a home far in the country. Goku had loved it out here, in the woods, far from the worlds reach. She jerked her head up to look at the sky, the rain now falling down heavily, and bit her lip, daring the dark clouds as if they personally were at fault for Goku's illness.

She took off at a run under the line of trees that protected her from the full extent of the rain's fury, letting the tension in her body release itself. Vegeta turned just in time to see her running by, and reached out, grabbing her around the waist to stop her. She gasped, and her chest shook heavily from sobs that threatened, looking at him in silence before he pulled her close to him in a comforting embrace.

"It's not fair!" She cried, grabbing onto him tightly, sobbing into his shoulder. "Why is he dying?" She choked through her shaking. "What has he done to deserve this!" Vegeta leaned back against the tree, half cradling her in his arms. Her tears fell onto cheeks already wet from the rain, and she didn't hold back the sobs that racked through her body as thunder rumbled in the distance.

"Shhh." He said soothingly, brushing his fingers through her hair, rocking her just barely. "I know, I know." He comforted, easing away her sobs, leaning his cheek softly on her head.

He held her for a long time, gently comforting her, listening to her soft crying, cursing himself that he couldn't make her tears obsolete, while rain whipped around in a vicious storm, as if mourning Goku's soon to pass death.

***

Vegeta creaked open the door, and slipped inside. Goku lay seemingly asleep, his muscled chest rising and falling gently with each breath. Vegeta walked over to the dresser and looked at all the different pictures.

He saw one of Goku, Chi-Chi, and Gohan, Goku and Chi-Chi's wedding picture, one with all of them on the beach, one with the Goku and his two sons… Vegeta turned away from the dresser to the window, not wanting to look any more. Goku's life was being cut short, too short. He folded his arms and looked at the raining sky, still somewhat light at five o'clock.

"Vegeta." Vegeta whipped around to see his…friend…smiling at him, pushing himself into a sitting position with his arms, the muscles sore from not being worked in weeks. 

He walked over, his arms still crossed, his brows still furrowed. Goku brought his arm up, and the two clasped wrists in a masculine greeting. "I'm glad you're here. I wanted to see you before…" He trailed off and let go of Vegeta's arm. Vegeta shook his head but stopped as Goku gripped the side of his bed and winced painfully, another wave of pain shooting through his chest. Vegeta's arms dropped to his side, unable to help his friend, seeing the muscles in his arms tighten dramatically from the strain—one that, several months ago, wouldn't have even made the muscles flex—and the proud prince's eye softened. Goku leaned back and let out a slow, deep breath.

"Vegeta," He said, and his expression showed the innocence of when he was just a young boy, chumming around with Bulma and Yamcha, waving that stick around while in search of the DragonBall's. "I'm…" Vegeta saw then, when Goku's eyes lost their sparkle, and now shone glassy and huge, how truly innocent and little-boyish Goku really was even now.

"Kakkarot." Vegeta said, taking a step closer to Goku's bed. He took in breath to speak, then faltered. "Kakkarot, you shouldn't be dying." He finally said. Goku gave a weak smile, not knowing what to say, but then dropped it and straightened his blanket absentmindedly, the smile gone. "Kakkarot, you have done nothing but…but do right your whole life." Vegeta said with conviction before he folded his arms and looked down. "I should die before you do." He muttered.

"Vegeta—"

"No, Kakkarot. You deserve to live." He said with a sad tone, one that knew of the many things wrong Vegeta himself had done. "I don't see how Dende can take you, when I stand here perfectly fine and well." Vegeta, the proud prince, who had just thrown his pride to the wind in front of the man who had always seen through it anyway, flexed his arms in their folded position. "I wish I could go instead." He confided.

"Vegeta, you have a wife and a son—"

"And you do not have a wife and two sons?" Vegeta shook his head, an unbelieving smirk on his face. "I don't understand this fully, Kakkarot. But there must be a higher reason for it." He said, losing the brief moment of humor, turning the tide to the serious tone Goku had had nothing but since he had gotten sick. Goku looked down sadly, but his face didn't drop its innocent and sweet look.

"I feel that Trunks has a higher purpose also." Goku said, a sparkle of wisdom in his eyes. "I can feel it, Vegeta."

"He is only a half breed. Nothing more." He shrugged off Goku's words of wisdom—he had always resented the fact that his son was a demi-saiyajin—but Goku shook his head.

"You're wrong, Vegeta." Goku looked at him, and he looked back unwaveringly with an edge of a glare. "There's more power there than you know. I…I can feel it, I truly can." The prince of saiyajin's shook his head with finality, trying to end the topic expeditiously. 

"Vegeta?" Vegeta looked at Goku, his friend, the least likely of people for him to respect, but he did respect him. Oh, how he respected him.

"Vegeta, I'm scared." Vegeta raised a brow questioningly, tensing as an inside fear crossed his mind that Goku would be scared of something. "I'm scared of what will happen to him. What he will go through…what all of them will go through." He drew out quietly, his eyes glassing over just barely as he thought. "Vegeta, there's a danger to come." He continued. "A huge danger to come. I can feel it like too much water about to spill out of a glass. It's brimming, and it will spill over any time now." Vegeta saw he looked frustrated, and he was. Frustrated that he would die and leave all who he loved to this new danger that would be even worse than anything they had crossed before.

"I have felt it somewhat." Vegeta agreed in his deep, thoughtful, dignified voice. "Like you said: something about to explode. Something unexpected." Goku shook his head slowly, mournfully; realizing his friend had felt the same thing.

"Promise me, Vegeta. Promise me you will believe in him." Vegeta raised a brow. "Trunks." Goku answered. "Promise me you will have faith that he can do whatever he sets his mind to. I know he can." 

"I promise." Vegeta said it more to get it out of the way, to let Goku's mind be at ease about it before he passed on. Goku was already weak, too weak…deathly weak, and it showed. "I do, Kakkarot." He assured him when Goku looked at him, clearly unconvinced. Goku didn't seem satisfied with this answer either though, and Vegeta felt uneasy, as if Goku could see right through him, which he probably could. Goku could almost predict any of Vegeta's thoughts or moves; he'd proved it so much before.

"I'm glad to have known you." Goku said at length. Almost a joke, but his words were serious. Vegeta looked at his friend, and emotion swept through him.

"I wish I could be like you." Vegeta said, and their eyes met, locking, so many thoughts being shared in that instant. So many things unsaid being confided. 

"Always honor, always right, always true to himself." Vegeta said after a moment. Goku smirked it off, but Vegeta continued. "True to yourself, something I have never been." He said it as if he pondered memories of his past.

"Kakkarot, no one will ever be like you. **No one will ever be you.**" A tear streamed down Goku's cheek unchecked, and they grasped wrists again. "I won't forget you, no one will ever forget you, Kakkarot." Goku squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them tears fell freely. Vegeta let go and walked to the door.

He grabbed the frame, wanting to look back, not allowing himself that. No, he couldn't look back. 

He stepped through and closed the door behind him, longing, so much, to turn around and go back, not wanting to let his saiyajin brother go, not wanting to say goodbye forever to the man he had learned so much from, his teacher, his friend…his Saiyajin brother.

Chi-Chi was walking towards Goku's room, and she stopped when she saw Vegeta. She darted her eyes quickly from the door to his face that was held high, and touched his arm briefly before dashing into the room without a word. He stopped for a moment, and silence ensued save for the muffled talking he heard coming from the living room. Minutes passed, and he heard Chi-Chi break out into sobs.

Vegeta could feel it, Goku was gone. Gone far away from anyone's reach. He clenched his jaw, and his knuckles turned white, his body tensing.

Apparently the sound of Chi-Chi's crying made it to the living room; a Gohan with Goten in his arms walked into the hall. Goku's eldest son looked at Vegeta questioningly, the dread clearly in his eyes. Vegeta nodded just barely, and Gohan ran into the room, a confused and sleepy Goten in his arms. Vegeta pondered Goku's younger son, growing up and never knowing the great man his father had been. A shame, a tremendous shame, that the son of such a man would never be able to remember him.

Vegeta braced himself further against the wall and shut his eyes tight, his proud brows furrowing before he broke his brace and took a deep breath, releasing it as he walked down the hall and entered the living room. Everyone looked at him instantly, and Krillin held back tears, knowing what was coming. He nodded reluctantly, it broke out into pandemonium, and the small bald man's tears fell. He caught Bulma's eyes, which brimmed with more tears she had not shed outside as she held Trunks on her lap, and he broke the stare. He couldn't look at her now, couldn't bear that on top of the things he bore already. He pushed his way through the tumult and out onto the deck, ignoring her pleading looks for comfort. 

Ignoring them caused jabs of pain in his stomach, a strange, icy butterfly feeling, making him want to go back and hold her, but he couldn't do it…not now.

Rain still fell down in sheets, leaving him dripping wet. He sat down on the wooden bench—built by Goku, of course. He leaned forward on his arms, the rain seeming not to affect him, at least, if he noticed it at all.

'Kakkarot is gone.' The thought left him feeling empty. 'Kakkarot is gone.' He repeated the thought in his mind.

He shuddered and was unsurprised to notice he didn't cry. He couldn't cry. For there are moments when the pain is so bad you want to cry, you want to release that hurt. But he couldn't…_actually couldn't_ cry. He hadn't in years, not since he was a young child, and hadn't ever till this moment tried, or had any desire to release it and let all who were near see that weakness. But now the pain was too severe, the hurt too much to cry, to have any emotion but a numb feeling that something drastically tragic had occurred.

He folded his arms, and leaned forward onto his legs, the pain and the emptiness too much for him. He took in a breath and let it go, his breath ragged and uneven, his hands shaky and unsteady, his body mourning when his emotions could not.

He looked up at the sky, where it was light moments ago it was now pitch black and lonely. Dreary and cold.

'Kakkarot is gone.' The thought echoed depressingly through his mind, and he shuddered again.

Kakkarot is gone…


End file.
